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Tools to Find JOY in Your Family's Busy Seasons

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all the things all kind of a little bit of a bunch of things um similar to autism and his twin brother is often left in the dust so I'm also going to be I'm today I'm going to talk about how we survive not just the holidays this holiday the Christmas holidays or the winter holidays but sort of any holiday um in stories that I um from things with my family so um before we get started I just wanted to do a really quick warm-up activity um on this slide I have a bunch of positive affirmations I like to when I'm trying to get through the chaos and as Regina said I am call we my family calls me the chaos coordinator of our family um when we are trying to get through the chaos I try to take a deep breath sometimes this is literally for 10 seconds and give myself some sort of a positive thought to Anchor whatever chaos I'm about to dive into I don't always this is a true moment here I don't always believe these in my own head but there is a ton of evidence that if you say positive thoughts if you think positive thoughts it will eventually start to change your thought process and give yourself talk a more positive vent so I really do this with my kids a lot the last thing they hear from me out the door is was something positive I bet a lot of you do the same thing and I bet you're like me that you sometimes forget to include yourself in those affirmations so what I'd like you to do for just 10 seconds is maybe a minute kind of looks for these affirmations think of either 1 look at 1 of these if there's 1 of these that resonates with you if there's 1 that sort of speaks to like I feel this way or I would like to feel this way I'd like you to jot it down on a piece of paper near you and then especially for you in the zooms if you're in a space where you can do this I love it if you said this out loud to yourself if you don't love any of these affirmations another really great way to do this is to start with an I am statement I am currently feeling very Santa Annie wins today however I am also very excited to be here with all of you and I'm very grateful that I am able to share this with all of you sometimes I am exhausted might be where you are are and then you check back with yourself a little later and you try to kick that I'm exhausted out of your head and switch that to an I am strong I am working hard for my family I am showing up today to learn something that may help my family so take just a brief minute to look through these and come up with your favorite and say it to yourself everyone in the room have 1 awesome all right so take take the ones that you wrote down the ones that resonated with you keep those with you pick a time of day every day or at least a day of the week where you read that out loud to yourself or you say that out loud to yourself even if you're not feeling it yet the more you say these words to yourself the more you will start to believe them and you don't want to wait until you're super deep into the chaos or the weeds to pull it out you want to start developing that habit so then eventually when you have a negative thought you can stop yourself say your I am statements say your positive affirmation and you can change your thoughts so at the end of this presentation I have a resource page and on there I link and article that talks more about how affirmations can actually change your thoughts from positive to negative so now to the meat of it in our family we love love the holidays my son Michael especially has some really strong expectations of what the holidays look like especially for Christmas in this presentation I am going to use some examples of our Christmas Chaos because that is what our family celebrates in the winter but if that's not celebrated in your home there's still a lot here for you these tools will work for any holidays and really other busy seasons like some of these my husband's a tax accountant guess what tax season is probably the number 1 time where I pull out these tools and these tips end of the school year is another 1 that is a really big chaos season that we didn't necessar it's not well it's a celebration when you have teenagers I think for some because it's not a celebration some kids love the school structure so there's a lot in here a lot of these tools that can help with things like that so I hope that when we're done here we've accomplished some of these goals I'll provide tools to identify stressors and help you embrace the love of any season except for maybe tax season no that's not true I actually there's a lot of positives to that too um we'll discuss obligations versus celebrate ations we'll also discuss some disability related roadblocks and I'll give you some of my favorite tools to manage certain situations and if you're on this Zoom or watching this recording you might learn some of my state secrets that aren't on the blog that covers all of this also stay tuned so any family whether you have kids with disabilities or not are going to experience roadblocks to Joy in our families that have unique needs we also have additional limitations so as you look at the slide I'm going to tell you that I'm 100% guilty of these first 2 so when it comes to overcoming last night just literally last night we're like What 2 weeks from Christmas my son without disabilities asked me if I would take him on a college tour trip 3 days prior to Christmas and I said yes so um expectations personal bias expectations this is where a lot of our our grief as parents of kids with disabilities May trickle in it may pour in holidays are busy times we have tons of opportunity to get stuck in our heads about what we always wish my life would look like that's actually a really good time to pull out affirmations and kind of look through like what are you really trying to get out of this and remember that everyone's life doesn't know life looks like what they thought it was going to look like you're going to have external pressures at the holidays and that kind of coincides with that internal guilt um this is actually 1 that I've my family has really focused on in the past couple years I'm in our extended family known as the planner of all the events The Gift Giver and the 1 who always puts a little extra special into all the family and holiday events um but the past couple years actually started writing this so 2 years ago and 2022 was a really really really hard year for our family it hasn't gotten a whole lot better in the last couple years so we've really had to our our family has had a bunch of um health issues and we've had to really adjust our expectations of holidays so that we can still find joy in light of some changes so we adjusted a lot of the logistics of our family celebrations and we're also working to manage expectations for our relatives so these tools I'm sharing will help even with some of the things that are out of our control um I've also I'm also including some tips that will help with some of the more common disability related challenges so I use 5 Steps for um finding Joy the first 1 is to evaluate and communicate so we always get so stuck on the obligation side of tradition because we've always done it this way that we often lose sight of the reason we are celebrating so either right after a holiday season or at least long before the next 1 we my family discusses our plan our whole family participates in most of the these decisions kind of Michael's still 100% team Santa so we still keep a lot of mystery where mystery belongs so anyway I think I think for our kids with disabilities the measurement of success is an important 1 to look at if you're making gingerbread houses and you're having a party to do that what are you trying to get here are you trying to make a sugary Village that's going to Adorn your front hallway and the first thing that people walk in maybe but probably more likely it's to have some big laughs and a bonus side of some fine motor development so guess what you don't have to do it all however you have to be very clear with your communication if you're going to be handing something important off if you're expecting your teenager to be in charge of all the gift wrapping you want to get their Buy in early it's a true story and it was did not end well for the Campbell family last year so look at your must keeps versus The Chopping Block and this is where a family communication comes in and it might not be an easy discussion for years my family used to host a huge this is when our kids were in little league and little kids soccer and you had all these teams and you're building your community we had a huge holiday party like 150 people kids with the game truck and a babysitter doing crafts parents in the backyard it was it was my favorite thing of the holidays and my husband hated it hated did it every year he grumbled now once he was there he had the time of his life also he did very little of the planning I did most of it but he envisioned that this was going to be like the thing that broke our family every year we have amazing memories of it but he will tell you it was the best thing that happened in Co because we asked the party and now we've just stuck in a little smaller mini celebrations with people who might not care if there's 43 teenagers size 13 she was in our front hall or you know the laundry is on the floor or whatever so we brought in small celebrations to offset that that still bring our entire family Joy and also sometimes have the benefit of getting the house in the backyard cleaned up it's also a good idea to have discussions with other friends and extended family that might be impacted by changes you decide to make in your routine if you've decided to head off to Hawaii for New Year's and your mother-in-law is expecting you at her house you might want to give her a little heads up and some time to adjust to that change all right so the next step is preparation and I'll tell you what I am a procrastinator and I'm not really good at this 1 so the best tip I can tell you is plan ahead for things that require customization things that will sell out and anything that's going to end up requiring expedited shipping at the very last minute the 1 thing I do stick to is especially for us for a season like this I set a date on my calendar after which point nothing else gets added everything goes into our family calendar so we have a calendar that all 4 of us can access and anything that the kids want to do even if they're just going out for dinner with some friends everything goes into our family calendar but I put a hard deadline on anything getting added in the months of December apparently it was not before yesterday because that's when we added this trip to Santa Barbara so but we are we are pretty strict about that and if we get invited to a party and we happen to have a free night we actually say no because we have also that I'll come to that later but we also deliberately build in do not do anything on this night stuff in her calendar all right so in the preparations this is a lesson I preparing for kids with special needs is something that is so important and is a lesson I learned the hard way this photo is Michael at his 10th I think it's his 10th birthday um so for his 10th birthday remember he's a twin like every other 10 year old he loved Minecraft dire of a Wimpy Kid and of course if you know ever ever heard me speak ever you know that Michael loves the Padres those are his things so historically I would and I bet a lot of you have someone in family that holds this role I would Dole out gift ideas to the people that are giving gifts I wouldn't just say give him this a video game I would say you're giving him this video game and you're giving him this video game and then we wouldn't have the these issues and I think everybody does I I imagine a lot of families do this my husband had no idea I do this so in this particular year 10th birthday a family member will say grandma didn't ask for ideas so she rolled into dinner with a PlayStation gift card for and a new graphic novel for Michael's twin brother William and for Michael age 10 she gave him a stack of picture books including 1 titled learn your ABCs of course aside there was only 1 gift he really wanted he had only told me it that morning thankfully Amazon same day delivery was going to show up with it that night at our house and it was like a 6 dollar little thing so my mother-in-law wouldn't I mean let my grand the grandma wouldn't have gotten him for that anyway but listen he did not want a present for babies and his tears and his outbursts at this really nice restaurant let everyone know Grandma was Furious she was mad at me this is where I have to insert the affirmation I cannot control other people's feelings or their reactions so this comes up every year every discussion we have about the holidays this comes up with somebody anyway now prior to receiving prior to gift receiving opportunities well 1 I make sure whether she asked are you I was sort of going on in your expectation like if you didn't ask me for something I don't want to be presumptuous thinking that you're getting them some so I or maybe you asked me I don't know I always just offer like hey I'm putting together the list I'll get it to you on Friday and if they say no we're under control then you know we figure that out but the other thing I do with Michael because I can only control what happens in my own house he and I always before any sort of gift receiving opportunity take some quiet time prior to we we we actually for a while we're doing this a while prior to and then immediately prior to like if we're opening presents at 4:00 at 3:45 he and I would go into the present room and we would sit down but we've already done this maybe a week before we go through social Scripts which I am linking to at the end of this presentation so we practice things like well Michael how do you think Aunt Agatha for those argyle socks wow and I guess thank you how thoughtful and you know Aunt Agatha loves it because we don't get in we we we don't do the oh thanks I got this yesterday too you know I mean every kid has this right every kid has a little bit of like not sure what to say so we give them some ideas for like how do you you know fake it till you make it or or make the other people not feel insulted or whatever so anyway on the resource page at the end of this presentation I did link some a website with some social stories and social scripts which are just simple phrases that you can use that cover gift giving and receiving situations um so another area to act deliberately and really prepare for is your child sensory diet and um so in our case Michael has a retained moral reflex which is like the startled and he aside from that though also loves fireworks but can have he he loves the idea of them and we have so we have to prepare so for the 4th of July we're usually back in the midwest on a lake and we work really hard all through the day to give him a ton of sensory input we go I mean we he plays fake baseball he gets hammock time we also include nap time or at some sort of downtime later in the afternoon then if we go out on a we have in the past gone out on a boat to watch fireworks if we do that we get him into tight clothing and then snug a life jacket on as tight as we can crank it because that gives him that sort of sensory input that he craves and really helps him regulate we also give him his noise cancelling headphones and what we did handful of years ago as we actually found or created or what he loves music he loves playlists he loves music to themes and so we created him sort of a patriotic playlist that he listens to with the fireworks um and really he now he's like super chill about it there are times like at sporting events where they just shoot off the fireworks if he gets a little stressed but now he has the tools that he can use he brings his headphones to every Padres game or whatever all right so this last item kind of alluded to this earlier scheduled downtime onto your calendar for yourselves and for your kiddos especially at the Winter holidays you've got depending on where your kids are in school and in AIDS and in location you might have exams coming up you have a ton of sugary parties at school your kids are going to be doing this for the last for the next 9 days schedule them some downtime give them time to just chill and put it in your calendar and honor that just like you would an appointment with the neurologist all right so I could do an entire present on delegation I'm not um I've listed some formal like the actual formal steps of Delegation if this is new to you or if you want a deep dive on it talk to me later put a note in the chat and I will reach out to you but I this I could geek out over that 1 for sure not great at it but I know that I know how so um the 1 thing I will tell you is due delegate and I actually had a friend who was trying to come in this morning and her dad was flying in and he changed his flight from tonight to this morning but she's my person here I told her I would call her out in this presentation and she I would call her out more so she's not here so delegate but in your quest for Joy consider the task and the objective do you care more about the process or the results this kind of goes back to the gingerbread houses write for Michael it is super important that our Christmas tree be up with ornaments immediately after Thanksgiving and I like to just kind of spend my quiet days when the kids are at school putting up decorations and that doesn't drive with them so a couple years ago he surprised me by taking out the taking on the whole task he got my husband to get the tree out of storage get the ornaments out of storage and here is our beautiful 9 foot Christmas tree decorated with 12 ornaments and he was thrilled and so was I I mean we loved it we definitely did then also take on a little bit of like as the week went on we kind of went with some like hey let's work on some spatial planning and very otish little experience with decorating the tree the best thing now is he's 6 feet tall and so this is a few years ago when he was a lot shorter but this year he got up like to the almost top of the tree without having to pull out me having to pull out the ladder that I'm always kind of shaky on so now he's super into it and we have evolved from this to a full tree of ornaments um but he came to me he was like Mom the Christmas tree is done and he loved it and you know he's engaged and so car if you care about the results something else that they that your kids can participate in that you maybe don't care about or 1 for okay sorry um so it is easier to do it ourselves sometimes but with a little but it's easier and it's also stressful and we're not Martyrs like or we shouldn't be martyrs maybe we are but if you plan it can be really fun and rewarding to get your entire family involved in whatever the busy season is so 1 of my favorite Hot Tips and I cleared this with Michaels outside occupational therapists 1 of my favorite is to take advantage of any outside resources outside therapy resources that you may be using for your child if you're using outside OT ask if you can bring the sibling gift and some wrapping paper in and have them wrap the gift at OT I we did this a few years ago and now it's sort of like matter of course that they say okay is Michael ready to do rapping we can put that on the calendar for the Tuesday Before Christmas they love it he loves it it's I I really love it even if it's 1 thing off of my plate it's great so um the other thing I delegate is the wish list to the In-laws I mean to the grandmas so find the things that maybe don't give you Joy and that you can get rid of okay I am going to say this 1 time I'm going to say it's super firmly and I'm going to let you sit on it for just a second you don't have to delegate or cancel something that you love doing even if everyone tells you you should and even if it's a lot this is smart and mystery um they have lived at our house for 13 years I think they're quiet quitting this year and moving to our nanny's house also don't ever it let don't ever pass your elves down without permission from the new family we have permission but anyways Mark and mystery have lived with us a long time it is a lot I love it I love the joy that my kids have gotten out of it um it's been a really fun tradition for us it is a lot it is a thing that I sort of evaluate in question every year and we are not ready for them to my kids are really good and so we've never done it in a punitive way it's just been a fun like silly um however if you hate something for instance friend who's not here if you love having decorated cookies but you hate baking and you hate the mess that comes with it hand that off to your friends who's at the airport now and now that she's at the airport early in the morning she has all day to do my Christmas baking I don't bake all right so at the beginning and at the end the planning with the exception of possibly tax season and maybe the end of the school year the focus of your busy season should be celebrating be deliberate about this ask your family how they want to celebrate a week with no school before for Christmas what do they want to do at that time apparently my kid wants to go to Santa Barbara but usually the answer in my house is play Playstation hang out with friends play Playstation in fact I asked Michael that yesterday and he was like well gone I'm playing PlayStation so if it's at the end of the school year how do they want to thank their teachers help get them involved with the you know I I mean from what I hear from teachers they love a handwritten note or a picture or a something that's another thing you can now have go off to OT so these on this slide are some of the ideas that I got from my boys when I asked the question about how would they like to celebrate Christmas um this was actually actually from a couple years ago so again smart and mystery are gone but um they do like treats they like to do like the Chris those little cornflake wreaths and things every now and then if I can the best thing about having 16 year old boy twins is that they now have a whole bunch of 16 year old girl girls who are friends who do like to make and so they're actually getting a group of people together to do some of the Christmas crafts it's like a whole new world that's just opened up for me um and Michael actually this is kind of a cool thing for any of you with teenagers Michael at his outside OT is working he loves to have party he loves to be at parties and have an offline conversation if anybody's on this path he wants to be at parties in his own particular way but he and he loves to plan parties but doesn't really know how so his OT is helping him plan a winter party for during winter break with their little crew of all these 16 you know 15 16 year olds that you know normally do normal 16 year old things but they are like love Michael so um anyway this last 1 the quiet time with the tree lights used to just be mine and yesterday after a meltdown Michael said can I just have tonight to look at the Christmas lights and keep the lights off so you know your kids might actually find some doing that I do have a friend who has a daughter who was te her Century 1 of her Century things when she's terrified of Christmas lights and it was very very difficult for them when they were young especially just driving home at night you know their lights everywhere and she would be very triggered by that she now loves them in a controlled way she actually has a tree in her bedroom that she can turn on and off when the lights are too much for her and loves that so kids evolve as well Force family fun I I was positive I came up with this but now I'm seeing these on like t-shirts and stuff all over the place I think they stole it from me um this does not specific to busy holidays or even a season but this is as I said this is this presentation is about finding Joy this is our families sort of Next Level tip for how we find our joy originally it was me everyone Grumble and now I my kids actually sometimes even request some sort of thing so here's the thing about Force family fun I find Joy usually the family does too it's usually a bit excessive but we've also love just dumping our phones and devices and remote controls into a box and pulling out board games and playing has anyone played taco cat goat cheese pizza okay we play that a lot it's just a card game name and it Michael Michael loves it's it's very silly and yet also like super good for you know speech and all these things and apparently there's a Christmas version of it that just came out that may or may not be showing up at my house in the next 2 weeks um yeah it's just a little it's yellow taco cat goat cheese pizza not goat cheese but goat cheese um so Force family fun also in always involves groans from the men in my family the 3 men it also always mostly yields a magical result and I even say that um after a surprise day trip we did circling the sultan sea a few years ago which was definitely an experience but also really really fun um here's another important point I'm going to make about Force family fun especially if you're child with disabilities has siblings that sometimes feel like they're being lost in the shuffle um holidays and trips are super overwhelming for Michael I have to do a ton of very obvious planning and paying attention to his needs and often that makes us twin brother feel left out these extra extra experiences tend to be a super important touch point for William we did um I had this linked in the um presentation we were on a trip a few years ago this picture of Michael in the Gulf of Mexico is from this we did a we the 3 of us went on a spring break trip in the middle of tax season to Florida and we did a daily scavenger hunt and Michael could kind of cared less about it until he realized there were prizes William every night was like sat next to me cuddled up and went through his photos and went through his results of his and it was such a important moment together where all of the moments of having to take care of kind of get swept away when he gets those like those times so as I mentioned 1 of our favorite things to do is vacation scavenger hunts um in the slide are we going to send the slides out so in the slides it'll get sent out to everybody um there's a couple links here there's a teen version of a scavenger hunt that I have found back when I was doing research that is on here and there's also options for younger kids where you might have to print out some things ahead of time but they kind of you know use a crayon and check off or they bring I did this with my young niece and nephew this past summer where we just wrote on a big board you know something fluffy and something itchy and they had to go around the yard at our Cottage and find like pine cone in Iraq and a feather or whatever um so another I this page right here I've just got some uh ideas of things that we like this Michael I told you he has retained moral reflex he is terrified of balloons like his OT actually calls it like a PTSD response but it involved with his moral reflex and like we have in his IEP that he doesn't do science experiments with balloons and anytime there's balloons on campus I get a 911 mommy there's balloons here message um but you know in the summertime kids love playing with water balloons and even though he knows they don't pop the same they don't make the noise of popping he can't he can't handle it well the other thing that's awful about water balloons is the mess that they make afterwards so when we're at our Cottage with my young niece and nephew and some other cousins and kids in the neighborhood everybody loves water balloons mom and my mom and I went on to Pinterest and we found these sponge water bombs and we spent an afternoon scouring all the Dollar Trees in her entire town and found enough sponges and a roll of twine to make 2 huge buckets of water bombs they are there's no garbage they're reusable I mean lay them out and dry them and then put them in like the air but we've been we've had these for 3 years now and we use them every summer um you can create tons you can you know you can have water balloon fights with them you can also have like target practice you can play like catch with them they're really fun and they you can make up games all summer long like we spent my kids spent a week with this is 1 of their only toys a couple years ago um so next summer go make yourself some water bombs they're really fun all right so we're going to take a minute to do some sharing and we're going to do breakout rooms or not we're just going to do 1 group we're gonna okay so they can share okay so we're gonna take a minute to Talk Amongst yourselves or in your brains we have a few people in the room here I want to know if there's any tips in here that you found that can help your family change the chaos of your busy seasons um so in your minds and then we're going to share in a second I'd love to know if you have a favorite family tradition um something that would never hit the chopping block the party that you are not going to cancel even if everyone in your family says you have to cancel it is there a a tradition that you hold tight to or is there you'd like to add so this was actually an interesting thing that I sort of discovered in these family conversations that we have with my f with the 4 of us my husband grew up without really having Traditions sometimes they'd have a Christmas dinner with some family and sometimes they would have pizza or they just didn't really they would always go to midnight mass and that was about the only thing that they did at Christmas same he had never gone to an Easter egg hunt there was like a ton of stuff that he grew up with and he just didn't that existed and so he really prioritizes us having these traditions and creating these memories for our kids in a much different way than I really expected or for a much for a bigger root reason and so even like with the exception of the big party it's really hard for him to make changes so we've been having Christmas in our at our Christmas Eve at our house for his whole family for years like 12 years and last year we had to switch it because of some health issues Youth and that's really hard for him um so but there might be a tradition that you've always seen other people celebrate that you're like oh I'd like to add that you know Elf on the Shelf um is there 1 thing that you you can think of today that you now plan to delegate to another family member or neighbor and um I'd also love to hear a fun holiday memory so we're going to take a minute to think about that and then we'll reconnect second copy no okay yeah you can talk amongst yourselves in the room needing your sensory needs I mean I this is I'm about to wrap up so we're going to share and then sure all right why don't you start what's your favorite holiday treat oh my goodness the thing it depends um I would have to say off the top of my mind I have 4 Kids for 20 2 year old senior year just finished Football Saturday we're up there driving driving branching Power hours yesterday at 11 p.m. um but the tradition is that then Megan said called 2 kids came home from college and especially and tradition that we did and now birthday 2 is that we went over to the primary Delmar and get a message for the second Saturday or Sunday lunch yeah so you'll see so that's what we do Maybe um we do the same thing to put up the tree they have the Thanksgiving or next Saturday um we haven't delivered the weather so we my husband's allergies oh lucky you and I don't want to we um we just put up the tree of the family and we got all the lights going love decorations on they kind of poop out this year they didn't come out it was amazing cars we get to stay in like a couple nights they poop out and halfway through our decorations and all the appointments so my husband's like they started so yeah so we got sure um we did our outside I love this I love everything I can put my face on November first a really really good thing a little bit of friends but it's not from a like and so working in the midwest we would study so she also and I'm okay well so being open I'm looking for you right now is always a win Maggie all right so we have a pretty Lively group in the room that I was having a chat but I would love to take a minute to have those of you on Zoom share 1 of these 3 things a a holiday memory or a tradition or something you're going to get that's getting the the cut um do you I don't know how to I I'm not a Zoomer so and then will they show up do I want to do I want to stop sharing my screen or do I I did my last 1 well I have the resource page if anyone wants to share okay so any of you on the zoom if you want to share with us if you want to unmute yourself you can chime in with your your holiday thoughts okay so bin says now that my kids are older we oh I love this um we watch holiday movies with where did it go we watch holiday movies with bingo cards with prizes clever that's so great I'm gonna have to do some more thinking about that that holiday movies are so fun in our house I love this idea um so that is fun and it lasts the whole season love it oh and Brenda says she also has 2 ASD medically Fragile Kids sustained home is ideal for them that makes a that's a big deal like some of these things you have to sort of bring the joy you can't this and my my son Michael really hates to go to play he does not like to go to places he has a maximum of 3 places a day so even if you're not medically fragile I think that's something to be really sensitive to with our kids like some of these holiday things sound great and they can be super chaotic anyone else all right I'm gonna throw this back up for a minute um as we wrap how do I do this there we go whoops oh there's all kinds of things going on in my screen all right so um before before those of us we can still chat in the room we have the room for a while um because I'd love to hear some more from all of you but I do want to leave you all with my favorite holiday memory so in second grade like many little boys Michael love the Grinch if you saw the first slide on here we actually have a whole little Grinch scene in our front yard um for our holiday lights so he loved the grin so much that he snuck his iPad away and he found a YouTube video on how to do Grinch makeup so you all I can see from your face is that you know where this is going he he found a black Sharpie also and he came downstairs with all the ring and whiskers on his face and he was this adorable little thing he is 16 now with it this is he was cute and little and had this High little voice and he said 10 you make me green so after a million wipes to get the Sharpie off I dug out all the leftover Halloween makeup and now you have this adorable little Grinch um he actually we actually went to see the Grinch at the old globe in his full Grinch costume and he loved it he felt like he was part of the show it was really really cool so there you go 8 years ago so he was like yeah it actually just I think it just popped up on my Facebook memories this morning all right so again we are going to be sending out these slides to everybody um you can also I have on my website which is Tina S Campbell like the soup.com I have a Blog that covers a lot of this without naming names on some of the gift giving stories um but it also lists it also links these on the blog so anyone I think you all for joining me and I hope you'll leave it with 1 last thought the fact that you all showed up today and gave yourself this gift of this moment is really important for your families and a great opportunity for you to just take a deep breath and honor yourselves for gifting this to you and to your families so thank you Tina okay I'm gonna stop sharing so everyone is wraps up our meeting today but you guys are welcome to stay enjoy the coffee and uh we still have the room for some time so enjoy the time together mingle and uh make some connections thank you

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