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Enhancing Social Skills in Students with Disabilities

Added May 21, 2024 •

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Nebraska's High School I work mostly with our transition age students are teaching the 22 year-old I've been a speech pathologist for 25 years I've worked in Poway Unified for 21 years now most of my all of my work has been in and a secondary World High School on Annabelle I have a huge passion for pragmatic language skills and teaching social skills at something I have done a lot of continuing at in and have a lot of training in so I love I'm I'm where the weird people who really enjoy presenting 30 minutes or so have room for questions at and I think they're monitoring the chat if you want to put questions or if somebody has a question just raise your hands very very casual so hold on so I love explain more about using video to help teach and enhance and be a social observers activities together start you really don't understand the commercial wow using commercials video clip everything in my in my speech lessons which I'll explain more later but let's break it down home run and who are the characters the three characters husband and we are making a smart- about their relationship right why did we why are we making us markets husband and wife what is something that told you that they might be husband and wife they live together which was obviously cuz how did she get into the she had her own key so we had to figure out that she's not a stranger to him be their friend but you know roommates whatever but they know each other obviously they both was there what was the problem she walked in at the wrong time so what her reaction when she saw the what was the man doing messenger and we can we can make us markets that what was he making in that pot of the what was the red stuff in the pot possum surely something to that nature and when the woman came in the sauce is on the ground and then the man had What In His Hands attacked and what was the woman thinking what are you serving me for dinner what she could have said she could make a quick guess that maybe that on the ground could have been the blood from the cat and in the woman you saw her face but it's one of her face was it her face look like what emotion horrify shocks like what's going on in here why do have my cat and a knife in your hand with red stuff all over the ground so what do you think's going to have she's going to scream and what's the man going to do drop the cat but then it does he have some explaining to do just he's had the wrong idea so I did they have different perspectives when she first yes so this all of these things that we just did we figure this out very very quickly that being a social Observer that's being a good social thinker we take that for granted you figured that out so so quickly we have a lot of students in do your children or whoever were talking about today like maybe that's not it's not as it doesn't come as quick as so being a social Observer is so important in the social world to know to figure something out where are they what their relationship what are they thinking is that all of those things are so important and so that's what is a speech pathologist I always focus on these kinds of skills because we have to work that part out of our brain and strengthen that part of our social mind because being successful in the social world you really need to be a I bet social Observer marker anywhere in this presentation I believe you guys will get the slides linked after anytime you see my little bit Moji finger that me link to this to what I'm talking about so just know that you're going to get all this you don't have to screenshot screenshot it is you'll see it and there's a link to the website for Grandma markers are really great manipulative tool that I use my students are using symbols that represent character and setting and the what's going on the heart represents the feelings we have to talk about somebody starts and then they handed the plan so my students learn this and it helps or is their language and give them a visual structure when we're doing this kind of narrative language activities and this is you need these skills to in the social world and that's what a lot of this this program this particular I have a lot of examples of tools that I use I have a lot of examples of resources in here so like I said there's a lot of links active leaks I'm sorry nobody wants for money with social thing if you guys heard of Michelle Garcia winner social thinking she's very big in the social world see the speech pathologist up in the Bay area I'm actually a clinical train claimed to call Trainee so I've gone through intensive train and her program and listen on her website is somebody that can be contacted for do you know if you got the information in the San Diego area but she has a really great quote that I love that I think it's really important keep in perspective that most of us have developed our communication senses from birth onward information and learning how to respond to people because social thinking is an intuitive process we usually take it for granite there's no way there's no like black and white way to teach social skills everyone you know all of our talk a little bit about how our brains learn differently but it's we take it for granted that as neurotypical Learners that is into the process you start from birth observing others of figuring out people's emotions figure out what's going on in the scene and so it's not like learning math where there's a formula so it's very nuanced face and I think this is always considering that and it's really important again there's a link to her website there I went to refer to it many more times throughout this present I'm talking about our social brains I'm sure and are the neurodiversity very big and I think it's really important to talk about and it's this is just a little quick sample of what neurodiversity means so we talk about our brains being neurotypical or neurodiverse neurotypical is brain function that is considered in processing and neurodiverse is brain functioning that is considered typical that differs from what is typical typical so a lot of people on disability so it's not that it's wrong it's just different their brains you are sometimes when your neurodiverse your brains are just wired it different way and so we just have to teach it a different way so please know that it's not the brains that with that we were born with the enhance we can take a lot of activities we can do it's different it's the it's part of it's a normal part of humanity people are not inherently worthless or more differences and strength the processing is just that they're just a differences this is a really good book The neurodiversity affirming handbook for parents and teachers and I I think it's big it breaks down price on a lot of Concepts really well so there's a link to that so that book as well so I think this is really important to keep that mine will specially when we're talking about social because so from you is very different for social for you and I think that's really important to to remember what are social goals are everyone knows the difference between an extrovert and introvert and you don't have an answer but I don't want to go out we'll have an extrovert I want to go out and there's nothing wrong with so I don't there's no like you know like I said there's no right or wrong wage for social something that also has a daughter and Leah Kuipers talks about the skills how to adjust one's levels of alertness and modify how emotions and behaviors are revealed in order to receive your social goals I love this because their fathers have goals in these areas near like conversation goal or I want us talking to other people go there so much that is considered when we're talking about how was social regulation so obviously there's joint attention there's all the language processors pragmatic language perspective executive functioning is huge we can literally sit here and talk for hours just on Executive functioning but this is not a good but I did put it in there I'll just need a doctor who does excellent executive functioning at her programs called seeds of learning and she has wonderful resources and really great things for parents and for educators to go to and she is she really is a wealth of knowledge even just following some of these people on social sometimes it will come across them and Instagram and like I have to remember that I have to consider that I have to think about things a certain way so that she's a really great resource so I just put her like in there and then maybe your child might be working with an OT with emotional but it's just really important to remember that there so all of this stuff goes into our world of social it's not just can I have a conversation with someone can I make a friend that there's so much more that goes and also do I want to have a conversation with that person do I even want a friend I always tell parents when we talk about friendships I will approach it in ways will do a lot with the relationship ruler will talk about different ways of different status a relationship and how we get to that friendship place but I'm not going to write a goal for your son or daughter to make a friend that has to be a goal for that you know what I mean like they have to have that motivation to want to make sure I will teach them skills and all of these things. went to social regulation but I can't force someone to be friends with you and I can't force someone to want to be your friend so forced friendship goals are not break both very individualized for every student what there I have a lot of students that we have 127 students that transition program and we have a lot of students who need that time by themself at lunch just want to come and sit on the outskirts Kid Rock on the rocking chair at listen to their music maybe their parents might be like I want them to interact with them that's okay so just honoring what your child it is also very important and their social growth I got this is very much like a truck full of all sorts of resources that you guys can come back to this is another book that I really enjoyed called make she just update easy to speak of make social learning s now it's called make social learning and emotional learning stick by Elizabeth Sauder she is another speech pathologist and it's a really great guy to how you can take your everyday situations and turn them to something that you feel like that's like a teachable moment without being annoying to your kid because your kids are going to sit down at the table with you and work on their social skills you're going to a birthday party and it gives a really good tip so we're going to go over a couple different situations but it is really good tips of how to enhance some of those social experiences how to enhance some of the language with your child to see that they that you can make the most of the experience a lot of it has to do with social apps I'm going to talk a lot about how to teach your son or daughter to be a good social Observer because that's one of the most important pieces like that video like like you figured out so so quickly like that because you use your social observation and you were able to shift your perspective very quickly and that's can be very difficult for students and so we need to practice those skills that's why I do a lot of activities like that so her book is broken down into three parts the first part has do you know introduction of what social emotional learning is and then the the meat of her book is over 200 activities for home Community holidays and bridging home as well so like I said everything from going to a birthday party going to go out to dinner or having dinner and a table with a family visiting a relative so and it goes through it goes through a different and it has like an activity all these different things around it so this one has to do with eating at the table so one of the ideas I know you can't read it all but one of the ideas highlighted is it during the dinner table if you have someone who's you know you know it's good to get some of the job so we're going to do like we're going to have the Talking Stick or we're going to use a spatula or going to use a few things like that like a g expressing kill what what's going on in their day and also talks about going with your positive what was your positive today what was the favorite thing about the day what was the least everything about your say and using that emotional vocabulary like sample it I was happy when I finish a big project at work but it took extra time and I was frustrated because it delayed me from getting home on time so being a good role model for your child when it comes to what they observe during the day and their social emotional language Fannie Mae social other of emotional vocabulary so I like this activity there's a bunch of other ones on here too for the dinner table and then there's always a little box that tells you what were the hidden rule so no telling reviewing with your son or daughter like we're going to go to Grandma's house I know she's making something you may not care for but this is how we're going to handle this is like really priming and like being like my little bit of that instead of having that disgusted look on your face whatever throw you out and hurting his feelings you might think people need to just they were just know but we need to be very explicit in into that is like free activities and like okay these are the hidden rules and you know maybe I have what you love like that smart guess terminology or a hidden rule terminology and they had a bicycle that's a hidden ruler I'm going to make a smart so I think it's really about being a role model and using a lot of this kind of language at home there's another I have a book that really talks about the language that cheers I like this one this is eating out at a restaurant so before you go to the restaurant review all the step-by-step things that might be going on at the restaurant what you're going to do maybe it's a new restaurant you guys have been maybe look at the menu online what you're going to have but also like social spying like help the child figure out like oh I love this game like who people watches are you a people Watcher like I make up stories about everyone in the airport but it's going up like you don't pass the time makeup with every time I try to keep it as possible but I was out on Saturday night with a group of friends and we are out in south parking we were at one of cars that has like a patio and there was seen down his house across the street there was a man Waiting by himself and Friends next to me and let's make up a story about this guy right now waiting for an Uber but that's that's being a social Observer like paying attention to the I will never see that man again hopefully he's not in the truth I'll never see him again I'll never see him again I don't know is I'm not doing any harm by you do kind of like talking these things out but that was a really fun activities you just don't want to be annoying to your kids like a worksheet in front of them and like they know what's just like being back at the airport or in a restaurant or maybe you see like a mom and you can like read all of her emotions all over her face that she's very annoyed with her son or daughter or even husband I wonder what's going on there it doesn't make that bomb mad those skills are so necessary in the social world really have to be able to have those quick interpretation you walk into a room showed he's in a mood her kids know is this a good time to ask Mom for money or is this a bad time to do I get back the kind of stuff I'm talking about anyway practice of this book has all that these are just two examples but they have a lot of examples of how you can enhance some of these situations that then I try to find it really a great but another really good social observation resource that I'd is free on the social thinking website is called the Jew Observer and so what they talk about is everything with you and social starts with observation we would call and in the social thinking they called thinking with your eyes we notice how we notice and how we make sense of what is key to navigating new situations therefore it's critical to spend time exploring exploring social probation because it's a fundamental fundamental first step in teaching social competence I will spend a year on this this might be one of that you don't really grateful that I work on a long time do the thing as social you don't meet a goal don't run from it like the goal that you may have had when you were in middle school is very different than the goal that you might have in high school but they're all still related so perspective-taking goal for patient goal every situation is different this is a very hard to write an it that has like  black and white data on because every situation is different and every situation is new on space so that we are constantly working on this gold we're obviously we change you know that supporting the level of the power taking the data or the support we give me the student in the goal but the reason why we work on this so much as because you think of it is like a like a muscle in your brain and if you don't work at it and work it out it's never going to get stronger so and I'll again I'll show you some examples of how I do it with my students but and the other thing is they have to care so I try to use a lot of really really high interest activities my students are very interested in new movies coming out there might be Disney they might be really interesting a lot of their character and I do a lot of inventories to find out what my height my seat is high interest are and I used that interest to get the buy-in for this because if I'm just taking those like lame Google Images are like those like videos of the awkward kids like acting on the social skills videos my students have no interest and they will end they just think it's annoying and I have those programs that might get into that but a lot of them so like that commercial that I showed in the beginning like I will spend hours on YouTube and I have quite a library of videos because they're engaging and then the biggest compliment I get is when a parent says to me they told me about that America is commercial that you shouldn't I do work with adults are going to talk about what we did in speech back home because now it was more meaningful to them so there are show me a really great social skills programs out there and if your child has interest in it that's great but if it's boring today I'm never going to get the buy it for this so that's why using their interest is so important this wasn't a few when you get the flies when you then you'll be able to get to it but this one's on social think he's a calm and that link that I have least I have I have that lead directly to it that you can find it so this is a really great one it's just again language for you to use before you go to GoNoodle stepping through a door and it doesn't have to be a realtor going in to a new situation where are you going who's going to be there what might happen what will it be like start priming your children with these kinds of questions it's so important just like if you have a child who has a hard time you're probably already doing this but this is also very very important in the social world you know I have to see no do we expect to see a lot of kids the same age there are younger kids or what you going to do if you get bored you know those peasants being able to think and imagine is also very it's a huge executive functioning skills and it's one of the skills that we have to continue to practice with our kids and then after going through what do you see what do you hear how do you know I can't going back to that video weed beginning with the commercial with exactly what I did with you guys what did you see how did you know that you thought they were married how did you know that they were in the apartment and it's kind of the thing that you're like always obvious but it's not obvious for everyone and so this is how again how I work on these I miss y'all so this is I think it's a great reminder to have kind of some resources like this and then this is something I designed for my students are they said my students love movies if so I use a movie trailer like nobody's business if just came out and so this so I have a Google Classroom that my students have access to and I put the time it's in there for them so there's always blank movie trailer review the amount of interaction the amount of students that I have submitting movie trailer reviews to me is insane because they're so interested in it so this is one of the young man did when that new Ghostbusters movie came out and she even added his own crap and he got really into it so the reason I do this I work a lot of narrative language but narrative language is a direct you know feeder to social skills so you real or fake when it's coming out and then we do the facts what you what you know about the movie and then what can you infer what can you predict based on watching the trailer about the character the setting the who the what is all about and then I wonder question I what do you wonder more about it so that's what we've been doing this a lot and my students now have really generalizing a lot of this language and love you like my speech tomorrow I wonder what my mom is going to start for dinner tonight so those just being curious about the future is a huge I'm components at touch about those kind of the social Pathways in your brain you really need to have that as well and so he did this whole thing you did such a great job I wonder what they're going to have new movies are new goes to capture of also wondering who or what this preventing the ice so again he hasn't seen the movie yet offered to predicting inferring which we obviously need this is my whole point is it's sometimes it's hard figure out activities to strengthen these skills within because you can't just say okay we're going to work on talking to this person right now and never got you some day love that this has been a huge success admit I'm a huge fan of Canada I made this like a people asking me to buy it I have not but there's a book that kind of was my motivation I guess I did write a book social thinking website about how to use movies to enhance to identify contact contact a perspective make personal connections personal connections is another use when I work a lot my students so I don't really write conversation goes I won't write gone are the days of church angles those days are over because we don't just take I'll take for you take more like that's not natural it's not org so I'll write goes to make connections in conversations make a connecting comment make a social connection and give a like or how are you going to come the. Because we always want to talk about what we want to talk about so the two phrases that are just gone around transition and all students use now is that reminds me of and speaking of because a lot of times like so weird we talkin about the this this movie The Ghostbusters movie and if the ambulance might remind him of something and there's a valid connection there but then if they just are talking about an ambulance experience and we're all confused they were not really sure so now we use the praise is a lot seeing that ambulance reminds me of the time I rode in the ambulance you know when I broke my arm or whatever that has been huge and so now my students I got this is year. I've been doing this for a very long time all my students and we are currently renting a repeat like the same thing as soon as you a lot of repetition so now they'll raise their hand or can I make a connection and so it's just really helping those making connecting thoughts and conversations field transition for a long time and she can tell you that I have a connection that reminds me of like we use that language all the time and I feel like it's done a really good job at because there's always a connection you always want to validate what our students are communicating about even if I can't see the connection with that has helped with our conversation skills to be able to make those personal connection at home I think pretty much everyone's TV nowadays causes you there you guys are watching a funny trailer you're watching the funny commercial your son or daughter laughs are they still confused we're back to this feeling so back to the emotions go back and wonder why you think I felt that way right I don't make it annoying to be a nag up up if I just feel like that you were laughing I wonder what was so funny about that those Wonder statements are a lot less threatening and they really do you do it first critical thinking and critical making it such an important part of being in the social world so use your TV use the remote used now I have some students you get mad at me they want to see it all the way through and then we can rewind and you know go back but use the characters that they love to in the last resource I was going to share is this book called exposed declarative language handbook again the link will take you to where you can purchase it it's a really great book to talk to strategies in scenario for home and school in Foster's learning social learning and help develop language skills so I'm always barking where are you I constantly stalking Life360 and then you get the text in Arkansas. He's very far away you know he played my game and he tries not to get annoyed with me but but we often do that I want to do is that we're all guilty give herself very sweet will probably do it tomorrow it's not that it's a bad thing but really really try to like give yourself some personal goals to use some more so I noticed the time for lunch and see if they can will use their critical thinking to do I go say hello to gram instead set up because what happens is our students are just they're just doing what you told him to do they're not babies doing it because they think it's important or that want to do it this was my favorite like when when you when you want to say no don't do that you might have missed something I'm sure Jodi and Tiffany know these rules for like really like adversarial meetings like make sure you understand what I'm saying declarative language I'm wondering if you heard what I said. I use that because a lot of times imperative language also if it's at their demands and began it they're just Adam and that's going in their head and they're not doing any critical thinking about it other examples they give like if you're playing a board game and if you noticed that your son or daughter might be like sitting on the board game instead of telling them move back up your body is on top of the pieces I wonder what we should do you know things like that this is a good once you like you're at the park and it's Edison go play with the other kids those kids are doing I see them in the sandbox I see them showing up if you'd like to join them so we can getting them so tight that step of it at nextep of initiation or and not just doing it because you told them to do if they got they have to have to buy it and you know what baby would look at you and I don't want to go to the sandbox they don't want to go to the gym but I wonder what do you think they're going to make it make the castle or whatever it is I just think it's really important that just pay attention to the way that you are expressing in a kind of language that you it goes through a bunch of stuff about problem solving like oh we're going to the store I remember the last time we went to the store you really wanted me to buy toys you know I could it be could it be the song I'm just being able to like visualize forward and passed before thinking of past thinking I think we think differently about that one can I use wonder I just part of my job as a routine that I use I wonder if statements a lot and I think it really helps and also narrating your own mistakes but we put our foot in your mouth every single day we say something we roll our eyes when we probably should we have to repair our communication all the time I said something to my friend I didn't mean it like you like you never made it to your kids like obviously situation but nobody's perfect the social world is messy there's no such thing is being a great you know perfect social skills there's not one person in this room that's perfect social skills and there's not one person this room who isn't still learning about how to navigate to Social World massive think about us if you take away from life when it comes to like your child and I P goals and just know that it's not a goal that's just met and then you just all the sudden you're just great pregnant you know yours is great at pragmatic language if it's a mean and it's a weakness or deficit it's going to it's going to probably be for a very you know it's you don't there's no cure you have to keep working at it and so I think you don't give yourself Grace give your kids praise use resources social observation to me as one of the easiest was that you can do to embed throughout your day and you know there's so much there's so much to do I'm constantly in the social world and just it'll be open to learning all these tips and strategies so anyway particular one was about where would we find the resources after the meeting since they're available and everywhere like I said that you see the little the little finger me pointing to something this is like so this is the link to where this resources so there's a lot of links with an hair for the resources resources for parents to help teenagers in the relationship the question was about relationship like dating relationship yes and that is a Hot Topic in my world and comes up a lot a lot of times the first thing I do is we'll talk about the relationship ruler because I have a lot of students who have a goal and getting a boyfriend you just like get girlfriend or boyfriend and so we'll start with the relationship ruler there's a lot of stuff on that on social thinking I also use everyday speech is something that I also subscribe to I like their visuals but basically it's learning the different stages of relationships and where he'll dating even comes in so I always start their the other thing is I have like I have two students at my school right now that they call each other boyfriend girlfriend and they Define we've done a lot of work over the years of defining girlfriend and boyfriend mean to that their meaning of them being girlfriend boyfriend is very different than what my meeting would have been at that age of being a girlfriend and a boyfriend so for them and it has to be mutual so we talked about being on the same page so for them to eat lunch together they usually hold hands when I say they ate lunch together once it's at the table the other ones usually pacing and then they said goodbye to each other and then we have a yearly  that they go to together and they text each other that their relationship they don't need to see each other outside they don't need you making sure that your definition of what a relationship is and then I honor it because they both have the same definition and are on the same track is so that's works for them the other thing is a lot of work with the relationship okay well your call I got a lot of this is my best buddy but they're my girlfriend like okay well does she think that she's your girl we do a lot of that kind of stuff like shared interest like I kind of really mapping out I use a lot of visual okay what's the what you're texting are you seeing someone else I'd like if I asked you know her is she your girlfriend she would answer my going to get in it sometimes it's all just a lot of really hard like like but the relationship ruler is where we always go back to we always go back to the relationship ruler there's also a social thinking has a really good resource called the Friendship pyramid which is another really good one and I think they have some but they have some good free resources about the Friendship pyramid if I do a lot of a lot of work with that too and at the top of the Friendship pyramid is like your BFFs and that we only have a few of those there's a they have another resource called curiously social and social a curious and chapter in their called if you call a friend a friend on Facebook are they really your friend yeah so it there's a lot of stuff there's a lot of really good resources on social thinking about that as well any other questions vs. Language Yeah Yeah Yeahs this book talks a lot about the the pdaf that there's a whole stuff in there I didn't put it all it's such a great book it's a really easy read and it a lot of things that just changing your language could be such a make such a big difference to NS you know them doing their own critical thinking and social problem solving yeah it is just like honestly like I still will do this like that and I shouldn't have approached it this way and so I or I'm really good at school and I'm terrible at that kind of stuff but just just educating yourself about it and be following some people are like social media cuz they have built really quick pose that will make me like this I got to remember or you know what I mean but you're not doing anything wrong but just know like give her self great if your child greatest like there's a lot of things and maybe it works maybe this is a strategy like you don't like it works for Circus Olay kind of initiate on their own to come to come to lunch instead of you telling them to come to us but maybe it won't but I do think that the way that we use the language that we use is a huge part of big of them becoming more critical instead of following commands and you need good critical thinking skills to be a you know in the social world where can we see the data that shows two types of exercise increase the risk program who are really great day know that they've been collecting and Cher yep and I think it all is child dependent when it comes to you know Master these types of exercise did not actually help him get the true connection and I agree I mean it's very dependent on your child I'm in this it like I said there's no quick fix it's not do this in this is going to happen it snowing you know ain't you know what's best for your for your situation and for your child and how your child brain works and how it's going to impact up and if your child want to make those connections know it's nice to have a child able to express what their social goals are we need to honor what their social goals are do I have any stretches to overcome anxiety I'm going to keep referring to social thinking they have time I suffer anxiety and they talk the social anxiety spiral of success in the spiral of failure and then there's there's a lot of really good resources on the social thinking website how to put a child abusing declared his language yeah that was a little tougher but you know I your bed really looks comfortable your stuffed animals are waiting for you or yeah I mean text me there so you know it's still there you don't try to practice as much as you can using that kind of language but maybe if it's a situation that's like no you must do this I mean you're going to you know there's some rules that just have to be followed like you must have to go to bed dining in the town of Bedford conversation they cement world how to open the door to ping pong yeah that's a very specific question to the one about back-and-forth conversation so I experience with my students I always try to make an effort to see where the connection is like are they it may sound like it's random but I might do like making that, cuz you were trying to make a connection to what so-and-so said to try bring it together some what time is my students just you know they might look at me and be like I don't really care you know I don't really care to make a connection we also work a lot on social phrases like wow nice niceties like when you're talking to someone even if you don't care the shaking of the head and so we practice that a lot to yes with a knife yeah and he was like okay and he's like it was either or I prediction yeah and we went for like 12 Bible verses about in my car yep we are creating your trading structure the structure that you need in the beginning yeah yeah yeah yeah and then sometimes their structure needs to be pray that your structure was phones and we're going to we're going to end you know and handsome as you know participate in this game and that's great and I mean that's that's therapy right there no but it's a great idea yes yeah that's a very great question so I leaned a t l c which is the teaching and learning cooperative for Sops myself into my every Sops in it but a lot it's like extra things that we can do to get points towards our salary and a lot of these are like the declarative language book stuff came from one of our she needs help 5-minute share so we are constantly with you if he doesn't give us like how we need to work on social skills that you do speech pathologists are all you know very educated in you know how we have to do continuing education for license so I can tell you that a lot of people. in the district are using these strategies we do a lot of continuing ed and I just did it last month in the 3rd of language book is what it was one of our top so I might this myself and another speech pathologist who work there we have quite a few of us there and yeah I mean if it's one of the in school we absolutely address that and we work we work a lot on safety because of our students are in the community so but also goals Drive services and so depends on what their their goals are but we always do lessons on community nothing better than should I just keep the time thank you so much Renee if I can't attention we're going to have our next speaker his name is Andrew Chung and he is a self confidence and bulletproof code for kids get here hello hello so thank you for the introduction and yes, my name is Andrew and I am the rubble ninja founder I'll go through my intro first but it is basically what are we talkin about is where decoding social cues person I just want you guys to know I am in no way an expert in working with kids on the Spectrum but I'll certainly do my best to provide and serve and give you guys as much games think you can do at home what does the whole the whole goal the presentation today is that we want to I think what you guys really want as parents is you want to be confident that if you drop off your kids at school or any other place that they're confident they can handle themselves and social situation just sometimes if a child is on the Spectrum it's like the social cues they don't pick up on so then they might accidentally take things out negative feedback we'll go maybe that person doesn't like me anymore or do you want to play with me actually sometimes they don't pick up on the excuse that it's like is a joke or sarcasm in things like this so what I really want to show today is how can we just like break down all the small it was so choose to where it becomes a fun activity for them to pack home with you guys basically here are the three secrets to confident and happy interactions so there's three of them number one is mine set Mastery number two is authenticity Unleashed and number three cover is social skills seem right and that's literally the best part so you guys I would write these three things down but we'll go into more detail so quick and show my name is Andrew Strong I am dear Evelyn and just found it and my experience my background I have 13 years in working with children 10 of those years working in teaching martial arts the kids and then the following three years is working with my own students in my program rubberninja mainly to help kids build an Unstoppable confidence because I believe every kid deserves to feel worthy and enough so quickly to ensure on me there so let's go right into it secret number one called mine set mastery this is basically before we go into all the social cues and all these different things the main thing that we're trying to prevent happening is when we're trying this new games or exercises with the kids is that they leave they cannot do it and they verbalize I can't do this or this is I'm not going to be good at this and these kinds of things so mindset is like the foundation of like well I can do this if I can't do it I can't do it yet I so we want to dress these things so what we want to really just have kids understand is there's a growth mindset and there's a fixed mindset so what we want to do is go over visuals of how does this what does that actually mean right so here's a quick little metaphor that you can share with your kids and it's like if you plant an apple seed in the ground you water it you give it some sunlight was probably going to happen next it'll turn into a small little plant a ceiling very good so they need to keep giving a water and sunshine with probably going to happen next with that Appleseed so it's going to become an apple tree right and you pretty much know that right you believe it and you know it it's just like you don't really second-guess that now that's what a growth mindset is is that you as a human being can always become a better version of yourself you can always grow you can always get smarter anything that you want to do this untapped potential is what we're trying to teach but when we approach teaching kids what I like to do is help them understand they need to build self-awareness in order to build self-awareness you need to understand what's the wrong way of thinking also so that's what becoming a better version of herself that's a really good tagline that you can always use over and over again with your kids and that's how that's the understanding of like Spacey black and keep becoming better now fixed mindset the metaphor is like well if you plant the seed and maybe you give us some sunshine and some water but then you just believe it will never grow into an that's like that's not true right if you plant the seed you give us then you get that water and then it goes into an apple tree but if you believe that it won't you basically believe in something that's not actually true it's it's fact that it's always going to become an apple tree right in most cases with any other seasonal things but so in this example for teaching that like hey if you actually think that you cannot do it it's actually is it's your own belief it's in your own head right the real truth is that you can just can't yet right it just takes time maybe if you practiced we work on it together we can do this right song this is why I like the growth mindset is the foundation before we go into the different exercises because we want to make sure that if there's any friction or roadblocks along the way that they go or or Dad yeah it's I'm getting it I'm I'm going to get there right it's going to happen that's what we want them to understand so what I call is the the power of yet you ever hear yours just something that you can Implement as soon as tonight if you hear the words chance from the kids just teach them the power of yet we'll just finish the sentence with the word yet you can't do it yet because I'm over trying to train their mindset is kind of to change gears from thinking from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset you know what maybe you're right this is hard for me to do now but it's just because I can't do it yet write it when you try and ride a bicycle no one actually comes out of mama's belly knowing how to ride a bicycle right you do have to hop onto a bike someone has to help you teach you you might fall one or two times and then you get back up and then you will eventually get good at it secret number two is called authenticity Unleashed this is more about making sure it's at and I believe you might have permitted this in one of the previous thing we just don't want any of the kids to compare the cells in the bad way right is a having a few already complex or even having a superior superiority complex which is basically you just a cover-up of having a few way already so knowing yourself is a very important set out the way. I just described it as like what we're trying to discover what is your superpower because the thing is kids sometimes they go to the playground they go into a class when I clearly that it is different from me is there something wrong with me because I'm Different well actually if you think about superheroes does The Flash who's super fast or Superman or Wonder Woman do they think the they're less of a superhero just because the powers are different no absolutely not the study team up together because when we work together become a strong team right so whatever your superpower is that's what's great but if someone else has it superpower then that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you so like I said before was trying to eliminate is both an inferiority complex and superiority complex is it in my sleep I'll just give you the give it to you guys now ever need to explain comparisons with other kids you can the simple way to to say this is there is a good way and there's a bad way to compare ourselves the bad way is if you look at other people and you feel like you're less of a purse maybe they're faster than you have PE maybe they learn math faster or maybe they read faster than you or are they finished things of faster than you doesn't make you less of a person and if your math is better than Are we more of a person know or not it's impossible to be more or less if somebody else your you as you are and so we just need that to be a fact for them so yeah so everyone has their own power what is yours I want to show you guys a couple of examples so some super-powered samples if you like,  it let's talk about what is your superpower so there's some things that like for example attention to detail honesty from memory passionate your creative so for example like you're just some weird tracks you guys can use copy and like oh how do I explain this a very simple easy way so now you know what you're really good at spotting little details that others might not see like finding the tiniest piece in the puzzle like that maybe that's really their superpower and other one is that some kids are just really good with Odyssey like you always say what's truth and people cancer because you don't lie you believe or not this is just this in my opinion is very much superpower a strong memory that's one thing that I don't have you have a great memory like remembering all the facts and memorizing new thing and some of these superpowers a mention now you guys kind of feel like oh that's actually that's that's my kid right there so and sometimes you know these things and then it's like well we got it also transfer that to the kids to what they believe it themselves what we're trying to do is like you already know what they're capable of you you know these things but sometimes they like that self-belief so explain so explaining the superpower is really an easy way and find a way for them to understand I shouldn't you're really excited about the things you love like your favorite video game and animal you know so much about them I'm in one more great tivity like you have amazing ideas and you can make beautiful drawings or songs that are you're out so and then I call you know what it's like even as adults when someone compliments you on your work like you did that you like these kind of compliments feel really good so we kind of review like you know you had a superpower hit inside of you this whole time this is your superpower it's kind of big cat to go or how they feel seen heard and now they can own it as well and one other ship to if you really want on what are superpower is ask them questions such as like and what we're have you noticed that you were really creative you remember that one time at the that one birthday party or in class or what happened instead of bacon their own superpower they're going to own it so much more than if you just tell them that what they're good at secret number three social skills Samurai do social skills Samurai basically we're to be covering a lot of the different ways of how can we improve the social skills because when it comes to I don't know if you guys ever experienced this by your this from a lot of the parents I work with some when it comes to trying new activities it's like they'll show a lot of excitement at home and then when it comes to the actual place to do that tivity to get really nervous or anxious they change their mind they act like they're not interested or if they want to talk to a new friend I'm going to get really like overly shy basically if we want to eliminate social anxiety they need to have social skills and sometimes either speeds are social skills that we have ourselves but it's like how do I break this down how do I teach this to this guy you know and it's like and how do I make this so simple so whenever we're teaching the main thing that we always want to ask ourselves is when does my child use this the question when and if you can answer that then we now you what you have is something that applicable implementable so that's why I want to share with you guys today so understanding social cues and building social skills so start with facial expression too many things facial expressions and tonality facial expressions it's like the way we want to explain it cuz like if if you interact with each other you guys can pick up on how that the energy how the conversation knowing how that person feels just by looking at someone's facial expressions but sometimes kids just have no clue about any of these things and something you can explain is just knowing how someone feels before they speak is kind of a super if you think about it if you were to just like I will go over a game but if you can just without someone talking you can tell how they feel before you speak before they speak and that is when is think that will cover is like understanding chugs sarcasm this is what's facial expressions were really help with sometimes people make sure looks or use sarcasm and their facial expressions do you like maybe they're not being so serious right maybe they have a wink or a smile or something while they're saying something silly I can help you understand that it's actually just a joke right and they don't mean any kind of negative so these are just some weird tracks just for you guys too if you need some help with explaining these things start with the facial expression of smiling by the way all the things I'm showing you guys here I think it'd be a good idea if I just got home you Tracy like Fast Cars and you can just draw these things out with them and there's like different facial expressions with the smiley faces and then that was just train their brains to go if I see this facial expression this is the feeling that person has rather than only listening logic you just the words being spoken right in all communication the actual words being spoken it's like about 11 or 7 or less of the actual communication So Meta communication is the sum of all forms of I'm speaking so is body language is the eye contact is the between a lady and a very very small part of it is the actual words being spoken but if a kid is on the Spectrum in Hermosillo just pay attention to the logical partitions listen to the words that are missing out on so many things to give him the rest of the story right so looking at someone smile if you see someone smiling they're probably feeling very happy and you can smile back or say what made you so happy right or he was can you explain that joke to me so smiling another facial expression is a tiny smile there's a difference there's a big smile and there's a tiny smile if you see someone with a tiny smile they're probably feeling a bit happy or friendly you can smile back in the  oh what made you smile so you can help you connect with them right so there's like a big happiness and then there's a tiny smile another one is laughing so if they're sick they're laughing their probably finding something really funny and you can laugh along with them or ask oh what's so funny too so you can join in on the fun in the laughter awesome something so it's like when we want them to be able to recognize the facial expression and it's kind of a scale sometimes if kids are always looking down at the ground and they're not really it's like yeah they're listening and they're paying attention but they're missing so much of the Big Pig but if they now know these different ques. They'll have more things to look for right now. Look at the face and look at their eyes I can understand their facial expressions as mentioned before is a skill laughing and then another one is well there's also the not-so-happy looking faces so how do we avoid misunderstandings so if someone looks angry or upset you can ask sound like what's wrong instead of ignoring me all this help everyone feeling good so you don't have to do this to me with a lot of kids sometimes they're more or less motivated to work on themselves they're more motivated to work on when they're thinking about how it affects other people so that that's one of the things I was trying to add in there as how does this affect the people around you cuz I believe that kids just need to feel a belonging to places home is one and his social standing is too and if they can provide value in Social settings they feel like to have more of a sense of belonging right and that's much better than trying to adopt other kids identities and copy other kids to feel like they belong stop moving on raising eyebrows when you see someone with their eyebrows raised High to be both of them just be one of them then they're probably surprised and you can say isn't that interesting or I was surprised and then in this are talking about like what surprised about so raised eyebrows is equals surprised squinting eyes if you see someone wanting their eyes it might be because they're trying to understand something but they don't get it right so then you can ask them would you like me to explain that part again that way you help them like understand things better so just kind of making sense so far. Recognizing the facial expressions and have something that they can practice asking what if you see a sad face if someone has a sad face you can ask them are you okay do you want to talk about it that will you show that you care and you want to help them feel better so maybe sometimes they want to help other people feel better but I don't know how right so asking these questions and noticed how a lot of these weird tracks not answering their questions because we ask questions it allows for people to share especially if kids are really shy don't like to talk a whole lot questions is a great think I think she has a becoming a Russian detective because when you asked questions and you're really shy person you really don't have to do so much you just ask a question and then you let everybody else talk you can remain an introvert and actually still get a conversation going what if you see a mad face well if you see someone that looks mad you can say it what is a mad face look like you can tell by their so you just try like a angry face when I get flash car show them if you see someone that looks mad you can say is something wrong or you can say do you want to talk about it so that way you show them that you care and that you under and that they're upset or why they're upset any questions you're so far downward eyebrows are we actually going to slide alright usually visuals and practice all right so this is like okay so now now I'm showing you guys win do we do this with our kids so how do we do it and when do we do it visual aids so you can use pictures or different facial expressions with labels to show the various emotions last card I think it's probably like an old school way I always use a scratch myself but visual aids you can have draw you can have them see what they think is like a sad face happy face someone that smiling and things like this and then you can use those as their own flash cards and then you just go and how is that person feel great now on the add in the word tracts what can we ask them now so now we're teaching the social skills when they recognize this facial expression and then to having a question so they can keep a conversation going next the third one or started the second one is three here the second one is role-playing role-playing it out so you basically this is more of like a what kids really love is pretend they love to play so if you want to do something like you act like you're another kid at the school or at the birthday party and then the game is okay now you have to guess how I'm feeling right so the same thing as using the visual aids but now you guys are acting it out so that way they can it's in the one thing that Studies have shown is that not just kids just people in general we don't our brains can't tell the difference between what we imagined and what we actually experience in real life it was a study turn on two basketball teams and the goal was to get better and not shooting the Hoops ones who actually shot the Hoops in to physically attracted to out of court and the other team sat down in the chair close their eyes and visualize shooting and making it in which team do you think had better a better performance afterwards the one that practiced some summer saying the other way around actually the results are almost the same only so the group that actually physically practice we're just barely better they had just barely any more Improvement than the the team that just visualized so visualizing role playing playing pretend these are excellent ways to get way more practice without putting them in situations where they can get negative feedback such as on the playground in school or things like this the more you practice so I have a martial art and so it's kind of like in my in my mind is like well if we just threw a student into the cage to fight and I never showed you how to punch how to format this never how to block I just I just do you learn this way well that's very unprepared I guess like I guess I'm supposed to take these punches and learn from that we don't want that to happen we want them to have as much practice as possible and to have fun while doing it so they want the repetition and so when they you know they have the skills when they go into social settings very it's it's more fun because it becomes scary if they don't know what to do they feel unprepared or they think they feel like they don't belong there in one story telling kids love story is so you can read stories and pie to discuss like different or even movies so going over stories or movies to pause and discuss what are the characters facial expressions what are they feeling so you go through if you go through a TV show right now I thought it's a good exercise to go through so cool not that I know of these are more like for you probably yeah yeah I don't have any myself teacherspayteachers.com yeah so some of the parents here it is Teachers Pay Teachers there's also you can use emojis on your phone and just scooped to go over those different emojis aside from these two so any other questions so far all right so that's more about the facial expressions now we're going to go into something that sometimes gets a little overlooked and not is totality so how do you know how you know how someone feels without looking like without even seeing you I know how you feel that's what we want them to kind of think of this site wow I'm really good at you like you know kids who are very analytical and logical if we can break things down two small little steps is going to be like easier for them to understand so they're a different examples will cover like if someone's like sarcastic if they're excited if they are Whispering is an angry sad or happy I'm a little nervous or very serious or playful so these different tones so I called this game the blindfold challenge so there's two rolls there's the guesser and there's a speaker so I guess there is going to be the kid you guys can always switch roles and then so they cast her is someone who wears a blindfold the speaker is the one who shares the tonality example okay so I'm just kind of giving you on a high-level just be weekly what the blindfold challenge is in some cases it's probably good to be the the person as the parents do the guests are first so that way you're kind of also teaching your child how the how the game goes as the guesser now there's a easy way to play and there's a harder way to play always start off with the easy because it if we make it easy almost like so easy then I can write I can do the hard kind of building their confidence to wear I called you know and do the easy version first and then like I get it isn't easy and then they're like okay well let's play the hardest version so easy as you give the guests are just two options OK Google and I'm going to give you Ascension and depending on how I sound did I sound happy or they sound sad right and then I owe you sound just like the hard version the hard version is now on the list I share with you there is 9 on there now that maybe you have 5 to start with maybe have nine and then they're like they have the guts out of the whole list of emotions so let's go over those inside the things I just created some weird tracks for you guys so then if you want to start playing it tonight maybe you have these on your own personal flashcards of like a what are some examples of sarcastic right so this is pretend like you're told is not wearing the blindfold so then where you would play as the person who is the speaker is like oh great another homework assignment now now you tell him like I did I thought that I sound like angry or sarcastic sarcastic yes very good I can't believe we won this game right and what is that like does that sound like sad or excited excited yes very good so and here's here's another way you can play this by the way okay I'm going to be the same sentence two ways and you have to guess which one is the right one which one sounds excited I can't believe we won this game or this one I can't believe we won this game which one sounded excited the first one or the second one the second one so you can also play it that way right show them the wrong version shown the right version and which one actually sounded excited because one of the things that like for example when I teach the kids what is tonari I can literally say one word and mean it in so many different ways hello how does that sound by some pretty happy right hello does that person want to talk to you that's probably nothing much right like hello was that sound like something like a question like for you right hello. Kind of like sounds like maybe someone's a little bit they've had a bad day so far right so what's another way you can introduce tonality whispering secret to tell you angry why didn't you do your chores right so that sounds angry sad I miss my friend so this these are great ways to explain it I'm so glad you came to my party that's Happy nervous I don't know if I can do this right play Alice Aladdin there's kind of like a little bit of some guidance so you want to see what they can shaky on certain tone serious we need to talk about something important. This might be the last one you got me right so these are basically all these different ones you can basically just walk through with your kids and then play the Bible challenge game so then does easy version just pick two two kind of opposing ones that are clearly almost opposites are a good way to start and then you can play the the hard version which is okay now I'm let's let's try doing for I'm going to pick one of the floor and you have to tell me which you think I'm doing cool any questions on this okay how is everything all right alright well I will start taking any questions if there are are any Maybe I have a nap yes and so it's called Rebel ninja is available on Android and Apple the App Store and so basically you just don't just look it up Rubble ninja and then once you download it there is free training in there so what I do recommend is just go through the order lesson 1 through 9 and the way that I started off is finding out like what is your name the ninja type is actually did discus estimate test but I just reported it for the kids so it's actually fun so you're either a fire ninja water ninja win ninja or at least noon and then the second lesson is like whoa what find out what your ninja type is what is it mean what are your superpowers and that is kind of like it's just it's meant to build more like self-awareness because before you Bill self-acceptance you need to have some self-awareness about then you can accept what those strengths and those weaknesses are but then also without thinking that you're less of a person just because someone else is they take up on things faster than you know this is a true as it is a true thing about every kid you pick up things that are they faster than other kids in this doesn't make you more of a person right and it sounds better than your something else it's inspiration when another human being can do now try and get really good at that thing too but not to try and beat them and become a better version of them but a version better version of ourselves so it's like identity and mindset all together and then we'll go over other things like social skills in there as well rubberninja question we just walked away gotcha yeah it sounds like he's you know like we all have mirin and so it's like if you watch a sad movie like you see a sad character looks like why am I crying for him it's like now it's like super amplify right I am thinking in terms of a superpower as I can. He has Amplified like Superman literally like has every one of the senses so Amplified like when he's a kid you would cry because you can share everything with everybody talkin it was just too much right so and by the way is able to do is focus. Super power and use it so for him how can we do the same so what we do understand now is that key can he he he really is very sensitive to other people's emotions and he sees it and he feels I'm so right so the next thing is kind of like what we're talking about for is like what does he do with it when and when does he do it so now he's got a point where he doesn't also cried as well but he'll go up to the other person and he's probably just wondering what's making you upset right now so maybe role playing some more tracks with him like I'll just pretend to be a sad kid all right and then you have to practice asking me what's wrong so that way you help me feel better because all sometimes all other kids want to feel is that someone sees them and they feel seen or heard understood at by Nature every human being once those three things to feel seen her Southern if you can show him how to do that by asking the right questions then he'll be able to learn more about like why why is that person side is curiosity by thing is probably just training him like when I see this I asked that so becomes almost like a muscle memory but I just need to know that's a good point sometimes when people are upset maybe they need space so I would say maybe run through two different scenarios right but the thing is we don't we don't really know it's only need space unless we actually asked you know so maybe train him to us like to do if you feel someone is that you can ask them like hey are you okay do you want to share what's wrong and if now it's like now it's in. That's a closed-ended question we're giving some number to me to say yes or no. I'm in this case is it sounds like I don't want it and thank you can role-play that I don't want to talk about it and then you tell him so now I know then you just go back to your seat or you go back to your gift now they want space that's why they're saying that but if they say yes here's my watch oh you know if you want to share I'm here to listen so something like that so running him through different scenarios so it's almost like you know how when actors when they playing a movie they almost you don't even know that you're you forget you're watching a movie or just vicariously experience in the movie when an actress really good then you experience the movie yourself the way they do that is they remember the scripts. show me the script very well so well that they are the character so when we teach like you know what do you say any situation what questions do you ask it's like memory memorizing a script in a way so they have something to fall back on because what if if your sign maybe is like oh now it's time for me to ask a question but I'm feeling really nervous now I don't know how I feel about doing this because the kids will have their nervous system as a father the fight flight or freeze response so if they freeze account like that usually because you never practice anything what to say if they was the other one Davis flight will flight is kind of feeling really nervous about this so I'm just going to get out of the situation but it kind of sounds like. really happening with your son he's just hanging out there and then there's fight where it's like I want to do something and I just don't really know what's what's the right thing to do asking questions understanding if they want space or not if they want to share and what to do with those patience you're welcome well thank you all for coming in today yes thank you for having me honestly thank you thank you very much we have this room five more minutes and then you're going to see an influx of school psychologist if you want to

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