Brother Wulfnoth’s  Corner

The Battle of Hastings Revisited

     In the year of our Lord 1066, Great portents of change swept through The Kingdom of England. The old King, Edward, was dead and the council had chosen Harold Godwinson (one of their own) as his successor. Alas, the succession was contested by both Harald King of Norway and William, Duke of Normandy. The English, under their new king prepared for war.

     Harald of Norway landed near York in late September and was defeated and killed in a costly battle at Stamford Bridge.  This victory was tainted however by somber news and the faint odor of garlic from the south where William of Normandy had landed an army and was behaving poorly (even for a Frenchman). Harold raced south and drew up what remained of his army on Senlac Hill. The foes hurled insults at each other.

The Normans: “What a nasty voyage, the rain, the fog and ugh, the food. Doesn’t anyone in this miserable country know how to cook?” (*Translated loosely from the Norman French.)

The Saxons: “More bloody tourists! We’ve just seen that lot from Norway off and now you lot show up from France. Ugh! You can smell the garlic from here! Hey, Who cut your hair mate, a drunken bowl maker?”

        After the exchange of these and other such pleasantries they got right down to it. (*Portions of the following were again translated loosely from the Norman French and Old English.)

I. Fearless Norman Cavalry Charging the English Shield wall:

*”Ah… excsez moi mon general but why are the English fighting back?  No body said anything about letting them hit me or mon petit cheval. Get away from me with that nasty ax before you hurt some one, vous Anglais idiot. Aie! There, you’ve gone and done it. You’ve given me an ouchie. It’s just not fair I tell you! You just wait ‘til I tell ma mere sur vous.”

                 -William FitzWhiney, Norman knight

II.   Norman Infantry Move Up:

 *“You want us to run up there? Mais, Les Anglais are up there. Those men are well armed and they definitely don’t look happy to see us!! Mon Dieu, you must be mad!!!!!”- Ranulf (The Reluctant)

III. A Pause to Regroup:

*“Alors (Darn)!  There’s a run in my mail hauberk.  That nasty Englishman back there with the spear must have snagged it as we passed. Such inconsiderate behavior from a host. One would think that they don’t want us here. Let’s find a nice little café and have some wine and cheese. That might do to sooth our jangled nerves avant que nous l'essayions encore.” – Charles “Coeur de la Canard”, Knight of Maine

IV. The Day Is lost:

As the day drew to a close however, we see the real reason the English lost at Hastings:

“Wait lads, don’t go home for tea time yet. We still have a battle going on.  Blast, now I’ve gone and got something in me bleeding eye!” [The {real} last words of King Harold Godwinson on the fourteenth day of the Roman month of October in the year of our Lord 1066]

Thus passed the Kingdom of the English into the hand of the Norman usurper.

Pictures- liberally borrowed from the Hasting 2000 event, Regia Anglorum and Wychwood Warrriors, U.K. ( I wish I could have been there!)

Dialogue- Faithfully reported and translated (with amazing accuracy and panache) by Brother Wulfnoth (the absolutely unbiased).

Featuring:

“Tell all source” close to the action- Robert FitzDeepgorge.  

Student Participation Activity: